Bite, slap, and pinch to move sexual energy Move energy through the lips, nipples, and genitals Stimulate the anus Thrust both deep and shallow Connect the cervix and penis Vibrate quickly to increase and smooth out energy Relax your body and breath Make love for at least forty-five minutes Part Four: Sexual Energy Exercises Breathe sexual energy in a circle Breathe genital energy up Breathe energy down the front Seal your pelvic floor Lock energy in your soft parts Praise "David Deida explains the heart and soul of women to men. Finally, a clear and brilliant guide to unraveling the mystery of relationships. It requires immense courage, wisdom, and above all, fearless loving. In Deida, all this gets included in one radical teaching. I feel that Deida has reached a new level of poetic genius in his writing, and his understanding of feminine psychology astounds me.

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Verdict Lost is a spiritual element informing how our sexual organs are wired straight to our brain and how our whole body is linked sexually By connecting the realm of the brain — spirituality and emotions — with those of our physiology and sexuality — our genitals and how we use them with a partner — we can create a new level of awareness that ties pleasure with raising our level of awareness and purpose.

We can create and deliver earth-shattering orgasms that transform our psyche and leave us with replenishing instead of wasted energy. The same goes for the art of sex. A good lover knows how to make the body sing, But a great lover, a superior lover, evokes a vast choir of bliss…The Enlightened Sex Manual shows how to transform the often willy-nilly flow of stimulated genital energy into a profound depth of feeling, openness, and embodied ecstasy.

There are elements to life that are physical and quantifiable: your five senses, things we can touch, money, politics, events, etc. There is another realm, unseen, that is only felt psychologically: power, love, and expression. Humanity is bound by freedom and love, yet our challenge is to move past the superficial physical desires of life into embracing personal freedom.

But our sexual gift of deepest love is sometimes limited by a more superficial part of us: our emotional resistance, our fear of opening as the deep love that is our true nature. We resist opening without limits because our superficial self wants to feel itself as something—even a tense, unfulfilled something—rather than nothing, sheer openness, love without borders, deep being without end. Infinite love is who we really are and who we refuse to be.

This refusal is our most essential tension. Our bittersweet sex life is a clear reflection of this push-me-pull-you drama between our deep desire to be open as love and our reflexive clench for safety and superficial self-esteem.

We begin with distinctions in how breathing patterns effect the human body. In modes of high stress, panic, and fear, we tend to breathe extremely fast, in short gasps, feeling winded and alert, ready to fight.

Contrast this to a state of being totally relaxed or in extreme pleasure; our bodies breathe slowly, deeply, at a rate that calms the nerves and body, and we settle into relaxation. When having sex, men may experience either weak arousal, an inability to get hard for a woman for the act Weak exhalation means weak ability to circulate energy. If you want to increase genital arousal, emphasize inhalation. If you want to decrease genital arousal, emphasize exhalation. To excel in sex, you must create a foundation for unobstructed energy.

This foundation includes: Cleaning your nervous system of kinks — everyone has experiences early in life that facilitate blockages later on, such as trigger events where your heart closes, breath tightens, and the body tenses. You must address the root cause of all triggers. Sometimes this is done by serving others, encouraging the full flow of love in the body. Training your nervous system to circulate energy — allow your whole body to experience love instead of in small portions.

For instance, proper energy circulation during orgasm renders that explosive feeling from mind to toe, not just concentrated in the penis. Training your nervous system to sustain high levels of energy — consider now that high energy does not mean hyperactivity.

In fact, the most attractive, successful, and dare I say dangerous men are both relaxed and passionate at the same time! Think of, say, a professional athlete, or a military general, or a billionaire entrepreneur. These men must maintain poise, form, and elevated awareness in the face of chaos and stress.

There is power and great sexual potential in being calm, alert, and controlled in the presence of great force. We must learn to sustain high energy through our relaxed presence. Learn to steadily act with great force and creativity. They feel at ease only when they are depleted of energy, such as after a full meal or an orgasm.

Enlightening your sex involves cultivating the capacity to sustain high energy over long periods of time while remaining relaxed and open…. You can bring energy to body parts that once suffered trauma, or areas made tense and weakened by your lifestyle. Be of free consciousness, or love, in the midst of sexual energy. Nor is it to become absorbed in sensual pleasure, fleeting thoughts, or heavy emotions. It might not necessarily be romantic love, as media teaches us is the meaning of love.

There is love in domination, there is love in hedonism, there is love in commitment. Love is a depth of being that seeks to embrace our core beings freely and passionately. There are two organs that support energy circulation The Tongue. The tongue acts as a circuit breaker for the body; it is a direct linkage between your mind and genital energy centers, and can be used powerfully internally as well as with a partner.

By pressing the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth, you create an energy circuit within the body. David recommends to keep our tongues pressed up throughout the day and throughout sex. Ever wonder why French kissing is so passionate and feels so good? Use your eyes to direct energy. Our consciousness follows our attention, rooted in our intention. Your emotional state can be controlled through intentional body language and vice versa.

Your eyes are the key give-away to your mind state. Use a relaxed awareness and loving intention in yourself to bring both yourself and your partner into the right mind state.

Part Two: Orgasm To experience heightened sexual awareness, we must bypass or control the male orgasm for greater pleasure by retraining the male addiction to ejaculation. Though we commonly think they are one event, orgasm and ejaculation are separate events, timed so closely together that they feel like one. I want to release the pressure that is building inside me. I know it will feel so incredibly good. For a few seconds. And then I will feel depleted and empty, ready for sleep, drifting in the emptiness of post-orgasmic peace.

We have sex for however long, ejaculate, and feel a mere moment of bliss I have heard many a tale of men who thoroughly enjoy sex with their woman up to the point of orgasm and ejaculation, after which they feel depleted and tired, only wanting to sleep. Could ejaculation and energy be connected? Even the best guys are guilty of it sometimes. There is another way — bypass ejaculation and control orgasm, continue a buildup of the same internal energy that brought the feeling of orgasm in the first place.

We create an opportunity to experience greater pleasure. While this pattern is well known as it pertains to the female body and orgasm cycle, it is less known yet equally applicable and powerful to the male body. Men can tap into this same energy and pleasure by delaying gratification — releasing energy in a controlled manner through time.

To increase individual capacity for sustained pleasure, we must stall quick release and instead focus on sustaining energy.

Turning your eyes upward sometimes helps energy to flow up along your spine into and through your head. Pressing your tongue gently against the roof of your mouth allows energy to flow more fully down from your head through your throat and heart into your belly.

Softening your belly and chest allows your front to conduct and hold more energy. If you develop the capacity for non-ejaculatory orgasm without also advancing your ability to circulate internal energy, this energy will simply build up in your body and mind. The male-female chasing dynamic exists for a woman to feel overwhelmed by the man, to cede control to him and be free to love.

To clarify, we are talking about men making themselves attractive prospects through appearance and behavior so that women chase them naturally through feminine desire, facilitated by male desire approaching, commands, and guidance. Domination feels good to a woman because she has a man in charge of knowing her and giving her what she wants. We see men who sexually placate to women. Whereas she thinks that through her behavior a man will sense to give her what she wants — to TAKE her and RAVISH her, and skilled men usually do — inexperienced or weak men tend to look for her to guide them sexually when she just wants you to take charge of her.

The man is submitting to the woman rather than taking charge, knowing her body, and guiding her into states of deeper surrender. A woman wants to surrender and let go in the pleasure of love. She wanted to transfer the lead to me, so she could let go of being in charge and fully surrender in the pleasure of love. But in the car I got lost in the energy of her kiss and she could no longer trust my consciousness, sensitivity, or bearing.

So, as a man, make it happen! Take charge. Sex is another arena where polarity is a good thing, creating much greater passion. Quite simply, use biting, sucking, slapping, and pinching. Stimulate the anus. Move energy through lips, genitals, and nipples.

Penetrate her in different orifices, in different positions, with different speeds, rhythms, and techniques. Learn to read her body and give her what she wants in every moment.

That is, when her body is wide open, he uses his thrusting to open her heart, to magnify love.


Book Review: The Enlightened Sex Manual by David Deida

Take away anything that dulls your edge. No newspapers or magazines. No TV. No candy, cookies, or sweets. No sex. No cuddling.


The Enlightened Sex Manual: Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover



The Enlightened Sex Manual




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